A Fool's Lament

I seek you out -
Where do you hide?
You drew me out from my dying place
Like poison from a bite,
Just the sight of you, thought of you
Will make this worthwhile.
My vile existence is void
If my persistence in finding you
Pays off.
My loss, but an ash pile in the wreckage of history,
I wistfully, desperately beg of you please,
Show me you, just come through
And let not it be true
That you were merely a myth
All along?

These songs were for you
And I banished those who, now suddenly seem
So much more than before -
My god, I implore you, please
Do not let this be real,
That you were never there from the start?
I appeal, my heart will be broken; a miserable token
Of a life that I had all along.
I cast out the dawn
As I fall, but to mourn
On my knees under a blistering sun.
And through vomit and tears,
Beyond these artificial years,
Cry in agony -
What have I done?

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin 

In Infamy

Yesterday, a day which now, will live amongst us for all time,
For history has changed its path
And we must fall in line.
For we at peace, with guarded arms, we chose to watch this from afar,
But we, deliberately attacked,
Must no more stand apart.

An Emperor, through wicked lies, convinced us of continued peace,
But sickening deceit was this,
As they slipped underneath.
For yesterday our countrymen were hunted down in harbour walls,
A naval fleet which, moored offshore,
Sent fighters to our pools.

Unprovoked and unprepared, our heavy losses were assured,
As battle ships became the graves
Of men within secured.
We scrambled a few dozen souls and got them to the skies again,
Though airfields were wiped from the map,
We took the fight to them.

We manned our guns, our boilers lit, we breathed those battleships to life
And fought against our enemy
Into the afterlife.
Relentlessly they sent their bombs, and struck the Arizona true.
She, mortally, took to her wounds
And sunk beneath the blue.

Yet still our bravest battled on, and clambered through her flooding shell,
Too quickly though she did succumb
And they soon lost as well.
One thousand men, one thousand souls, aboard that ship that fateful morn
But still their brethren stayed the fight
Until they too were torn.

But little could our heroes do when faced with such a secret pact,
Two-thousands souls were sent away
So now it's time to act.
I therefore ask, most verily, that Congress share in my abhor;
Against the empire of Japan,
Declare a state of war!

For yesterday, the 7th day, of this December, forty-one,
A declaration such as this
Came from the Rising Sun.
My kinsmen and my countrymen, respond to this atrocity
For this day now, and for all time
Will live in infamy. 

And let it live, remind us all, that abstinence from world affairs
Cannot assure security,
Nor reassure our cares.
But we are strong, and we are proud, and now we stand upon our might
And we will show them, air to air,
From sea to shore we'll fight!

Do not forget what happened here, in Pearl Harbour, upon this day,
In their honour we rise anew,
And join the global fray.
This land of opportunity, of hope and utmost bravery
Will stand once more with our brothers,
To vanquish tyranny.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

The USS Shaw explodes after a torpedo strike from Japanese planes ignites her forward magazine stores
Pearl Harbour - December 7th 1941

Pearl Harbour is a United States Naval base, situated on the island of Ohahu, Hawaii. On December 7th 1941, the harbour was subjected to an unprovoked and unexpected attack by the Japanese Imperial Navy, commencing at 7.48am.  Over the course of the attack, 2,402 Americans were killed, the majority of which (over a thousand men) were aboard the USS Arizona, when it was struck by a torpedo causing its magazine store to explode and quickly sink.  The majority of men killed were trapped within the hull when it sank, causing them to drown. 

The attack came as a profound shock to the American people and led directly to the American entry into World War II in both the Pacific and European theaters. The following day (December 8), the United States declared war on Japan, with previous reluctance of the American people to join the war all but vanishing after Pearl Harbour.  Germany and its allies quickly declared war on the U.S. also, which was reciprocated and the American entry in WWII sealed.

This poem is based on the speech given by President Roosevelt, the day after the attack on Pearl Harbour, now know as the 'Infamy Speech' - which has become one of the most famous speeches in world history.  The attack on Pearl Harbour also became one of the most important turning points in world history, extending the scale of WWII, opening the Pacific Theatre and ultimately, leading to the creation of the Atom bomb, which were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki 4 years later and bringing an end to the war and beginning the Cold War, which lasted until the collapse of the Soviet union 46 years later.

Pride

Beneath my dim pride
many thoughts poison my soul -
drink up and be done.
 
Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

Scars

My poor hands,
Sore,
Raw and weathered,
Tethered to the hate
Of myself.
A wealth of pity
Undeserved
Scarring my knuckles,
Buckles at the loss
Of control.
The soul wretches,
Stretches the skin
And in they go
Slow.
The tears come,
Fears undone
As the revoltion
Burns with acidity,
The loss of lucidity -
Instant.
Stars fill my eyes
And I cry at the scars
That have opened
Like a door
Once more
Upon my poor, 
Poor hands. 

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin
 

Clarity

I will never see
the wood for the many trees -
burn the forest down.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin 

Trick?

Happy Halloween -
May all the knocks at your door
Be without bloodshed.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

Halloween or Hallowe'en , also known as All Hallows' Eve, is a yearly celebration observed in a number of countries on October 31, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows' Day. It initiates the triduum of Hallowmas, the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the faithful departed believers.

According to many scholars, All Hallows' Eve is a Christianized feast initially influenced by Celtic harvest festivals, with possible pagan roots, particularly the Gaelic Samhain. Other academics maintain that it originated independently of Samhain and has solely Christian roots.

The word Halloween or Hallowe'en dates to about 1745 and is of Christian origin. The word "Halloween" means "hallowed evening" or "holy evening". It comes from a Scottish term for All Hallows' Eve (the evening before All Hallows' Day). In Scots, the word "eve" is even, and this is contracted to e'en or een. Over time, (All) Hallow(s) E(v)en evolved into Halloween. Although the phrase "All Hallows'" is found in Old English (ealra hālgena mæssedæg, mass-day of all saints), "All Hallows' Eve" is itself not seen until 1556.

Retribution (From My Beautiful Lie)

The lie I created I hid far behind,
Blind - vacuous and vapid, my rapid descent
Into madness was sealed, with gladness
The concealed face of my own lot was lost
And the cost of this deception was total,
Brutal at the very point of inception,
The question though - what have I done?
The truth was undone and the lie became loose
And could not be contained though I strained
Just to keep it within, but too late,
It was free, punished me, brought insidious glee
But no more than a lie was it,
Born as I cried for it, broke on the floor as it
Nurtured a love that was poor and emaciated
Broken and wasted and what for?
The question remained, but my conscience was stained
As I fed on the lie until all had been fooled -
I down-tooled, tried to stop, but too late
For the damage was done, from the top I had fallen,
Appalling, like Icarus scorched by the sun.
Both he and I strived for the utmost untouchable,
But instantly fallible, lost with the dawning of truth.
The noose had been slung, but still blind by the lie,
Unaware of this foolishness, arrogant bullishness
Burnt these wax wings to the core, the floor being met
As we plummet in flames, meet the lie that was left
Now deep rooted in earth, I, destitute, bereft,
Try to claw my way out of the mess I have made;
Try to claw my way out of my grave.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin 

Forever Let This Place Here Be

Forever let this place here be
A warning to humanity,
A cry of despair, suffering;
Death in total, unrelenting.
Forever let its soil be bare,
For life shall grow not anywhere,
This place, a scar upon the face
Of mans wickedness, mans disgrace.

Forever let this place here stand
As evidence of evil planned,
A barren wasteland, void of hope,
Where many left in clouds of smoke.
Forever let its fences loom,
Its unmanned towers, pending doom.
Do not erase its vacant skies,
Beneath which fell so many lives.

Forever let this place here sound
A silence without any bounds,
Where millions let out a cry
Then vanished into ashen sky.
Forever let its pits be dug
And let them keep their endless blood,
Let not the present hide the past,
Beneath these ashes, horror lasts.

Forever let this place here show
How deep the darkest monsters go,
An industry that born of death,
Annihilation without breath.
Forever let its gates be wide
And let the living pour inside,
For witnesses will herein see
The debris of humanity.

 Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

Electrified barbed wire fence surround the immense complex of  the Nazi concentration camp
Auschwitz-Birkenau where over 1.1 million people, mainly jews, were murdered during its operation,
May 1940 to January 1945

Hitman

I dial him up,

An unlisted number, of course

But easy enough to find

When you know where to look.

He speaks low, and slow,

I tell him what he needs to know,

No more. Not too much.
He books me in. Half-four.
Simple stuff - a time, a place, the door,

The colour, the number, the floor outside.

Then the target, to mark it,

Rough age, hair colour?

Height, weight, creed?

But no more. Not too much. No need.

But of course, remind him which door!

I give them over, lower my voice.

Slower, again, so that he knows for sure.

Payment is easy, no need to worry,

It'll be with the victim, I say,

I know where they'll keep it today.

Safe code and all, in the wall.

He takes down the digits.

How will you do it? I ask.

That's not my concern apparently,

And a shame really,

It'd be handy to know it,

Give me a sense of it, revel in it

Before it occurs, but no words,
Not to worry. No hurry,
I'll find out anyway, today.
So I thank him for his time.
Unresponsive, he kills the line.
That's fine, now to wait
'Til it's done. The time goes quick;
Half-one, 
Half-two, 
Half-three,
Then a defining knock
At my door, 
Half-four - such the professional,
And look at that, 
Right on schedule.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin 

September Sisters

Twin sisters, both alike in majesty,

In New Manhattan, where we set this scene,

From arid lands flocks an old enemy,

To scorch the earth of this, a western dream.

From fateful skies the fatal flights descend,

But none the wiser to their pending fate,

The man and child, to happy affairs tend,

Their future sealed beneath a veil of hate.

Through vacant city clouds, their path annulled,

Two silver eagles level out their wings,

And whilst the terror fills their gravely hulls,
No-one below can hear their deathly screams.

Two flying ships set course and sail together,
To meet their end this day in mid September.

In but a flash the metals mute the sound,
And decimates upon the towers' side;
Below, the thunder footfalls head to ground,
Above, two thousand souls are sealed inside.

The fires roar and billow out their clouds,
Their acrid plumes seal misery and death
And to the cornered guiltless they surround;
They watch them choke and breathe their final breath.

But many did not wish to suffer long
And desperate the man faced with his end,
A single step into the skies beyond
Then to the earth he rapidly descends.

And on the ground, no more was felt his pain,
Oh this, the most macabre September rain.

The panic now most widespread and complete,
As crying eyes stare helplessly above,
To watch the trapped wave hopeless little sheets,
And hear them beg for mercy in His love.

But fire angels cannot reach their goals,
As those two sisters fail against the flames,
For many heroes fall, release their souls
To save their fellow innocents this day.

For even the most steadfast cannot stand
In face of such destruction and despair,
These mighty towers buckle on the land
From flying deathblows dealt them from the air.

And when the crippled giants lost their fight,

September sisters crumbled out of sight.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

United Airlines Flight 175 moments from impact of the South Tower of the World Trade Center
Nearly 3,000 people were killed on September 11th 2001 as a result of terrorist attacks on the U.S.

On September 11th 2001, at 8:46 a.m, five hijackers of the Islamic terrorist group al-Qaeda crashed American Airlines Flight 11 into the World Trade Center's North Tower, and at 9:03 a.m., another five hijackers crashed United Airlines Flight 175 into the South Tower. 

Within two hours, both towers were gone. 

These attacks resulted in the deaths of 2,606 people in the towers or on the ground. The victims included 147 aboard the two planes (from which there were no survivors). In the North Tower 1,355 people at or above the point of impact were trapped and died of smoke inhalation, fell or jumped from the tower to escape the smoke and flames, or were killed in the building's eventual collapse. The destruction of all three staircases in the tower when Flight 11 hit made it impossible for anyone above the impact zone to escape. In the South Tower, one stairwell was left intact after Flight 175 hit, allowing 14 people located on the floors of impact (including one man who saw the plane coming at him) and four more from the floors above to escape. 

At least 200 people fell or jumped to their deaths from the burning towers, landing on the streets and rooftops of adjacent buildings hundreds of feet below. A total of 411 emergency workers died as they tried to rescue people and fight the fires. It was the deadliest incident for firefighters in the history of the United States.

These were the deadliest attacks on U.S. soil in its history, surpassing the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour of 1941. In total, almost 3,000 people died in the attacks on that day, and more than 90 countries lost citizens in the two towers of the World Trade Center.

On with the Show

Drop down the curtain, but leave me on the stage.
Whilst I'm not certain, I'll read on from the page.
The lights are blinding and I can't see the crowd.
Imperfect timing but I'll get through somehow.
This isn't easy, but then what ever is?
I cannot be me, 'til I stop being his.

The crowd is roaring, though I have yet to speak.
My heartbeat soaring, my constitution weak.
It's time for action, or else I'm down and done.
But my reaction is slow, fatigued and numb.
What can release it and free me of the past.
I, once beneath it, must rise above at last.

But I won't give in, and I have far to go.
So raise the curtain, and let's on with the show.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

She, Mourning

She pressed her hand against the marble, felt its words,
Ran her weathered finger through the crafted names.
Many faces that had long since adventured,
Left for others lingering to bear the pain.

The autumn sun caressed its face and warmed the stone,
She drew it through her skin and let it stay a while.
Her silver head was bowed, her company her own,
To spend a few more moments in her reconcile.

The flowers of the world could not number enough
To brighten up the burden of an ended path,
The petals broke their bonds and crumbled into dust
And left the woman weeping in the aftermath.

And as the overwhelming feelings find their place,
Rested in the fractures of a broken heart,
The tears roll from her eyes and glisten on her face
And once again remind her that she must depart.

She turns and disappears amongst the faceless throng
But unconcerned to why this woman mourns alone.
They'll say, "For many shrines are written for those gone,
So what is one more name etched into waiting stone?"

But pity deep the woman who is fading there,
Staring at the monument that bears his time,
For she has felt a love and lost beyond compare
And now must mourn the cost of it upon the shrine.

Oh pity deep the woman that suffers the strain,
Clawing at the testament that bears another.
For there's no soul on earth that understands the pain,
Or knows the loss condemned upon a grieving mother.

 Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

A Little Deeper

Deeper

Just a little more

Don't stop now

You've almost done it

So end it

Make this nonsense go away

To stay is madness

Sadness drives you on

But son, seriously

Mysteriously your mind kids you

Fools you into thinking

You're still wanted

Jolted, stupidity keeps you going

But knowing that there's no point

Disjoint your heart from you head

Instead, think about the hopelessness

Of you

And due your moment of fame

Blame no-one, or nothing

The simple fact is

You are not needed

Anymore

So I implore you, stop it

Just end it

And don't be the weeper

My pitiful son, 
You just need to cut 

A little deeper

And accept the utter hollowness

Of you. My son

Just the utter pointlessness

Of you.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

Midnight

Quadruple zero's - 
The flooded sills in my eyes
have drained my spirit.


Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

Moments

If I had but moments to live
I would spend every dying second
Telling you how much
My eternity would miss you.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

The Mail

The mail came,

I sifted through,

Threw out the bad,

Saved the good.

There was the usual shit

Lazily thrown into cheap envelopes

Addressed anonymously

To anyone willing to open,

I didn’t hesitate -

I tore them to shreds.

Occasionally they were personalised,

Acted like they wanted you,

Treated you with an address,

Called you names you knew

But underneath,

You know it’s going to disappoint,

That really, it’s just the same wolf

Dressed in finer paper.
I saw through it of course,
It was simple enough -

I tore them to shreds.

Then, the pamphlets and leaflets

Offering all sorts of change,

Promises of better futures,

Of progress, improvements,

Interests and inspiration,

You fall for it, at first -

The colours entice you in

But eventually, depressingly

You see the price

And then you realise

It’s impossible, inevitable
And never going to happen -

I tore them to shreds.

Little left now, just the bills

Demanding money

For services rendered -

Overpriced, naturally,

But you have to pay

If you want to live - it’s sad though,

Sometimes you pay

Not to live, but to survive
To simply, exist - I’m sick of that,

Paying to last, to endure
To just get through
One more day...

I think I'll tear these up too

And see what happens. Afterall,
What bad news can the mail bring
If you no longer choose to open it?

So fuck the mail -

Your move, postman.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

Tuesday

No hope since Tuesday -
thankfully this high wire
has no safety net.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

Letting You Go

Now I’ve found my strength to move on,

And I wish you all the best,

But I’ve got to be strong.

And I can do this on my own,

I don't need anybody’s arms

To carry me along.

Don’t be sad baby,

We were together, but together

We'll not make it through the storm.

We had each other,

There was no other, but my lover,

There's still something going wrong.

I’m leaving, I’m going but don’t stand there crying for me,

I’ll find my own way

And you’ll find your own way too.

I’m sorry, but one day you’ll look back and thank me for this,

I’ll always love you,

But loving you means letting you go.

I thank you for loving me so long

Oh but my darling, darling baby,

It’s time to move on.

But remember, remember

Time is a healer, for us both,

And we’ll always have this song.

Don't look back baby,

Looking back now, will compact how,

What we’ve suffered was all wrong.

Look beyond us,

Far above us, and you'll soon see

What we had is never gone.

I’m leaving, I’m going but don’t stand there crying for me,

I’ll find my own way

And you’ll find your own way too.

I’m sorry, but one day you’ll look back and thank me for this,

I’ll always love you,

But loving you means letting you go.

We had it all and it could have been right,

But I couldn’t take all of those lonely nights...

Those lonely nights.

So I’m leaving, I’m going but don’t stand there crying for me,

I’ll find my own way

And you’ll find your own way too.

I’m sorry, but one day you’ll look back and thank me for this,

I’ll always love you,

But loving you means letting you go.

Copyright © 2012 by Simon Austin


Music created & performed by Liam Coughlin - click here to listen

Empty

My cup is empty -
grey teardrops are in their beds
where the river weeps.

 Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

What is a Haiku?

A Haiku is a very short Japanese poem.  There are many rules that determine what is (and what isn’t) a Haiku in the very traditional sense.  As time and cultures have developed, Haiku’s and their rules have also widened in scope, and today’s English Haiku’s follow slightly different conventions to their traditional counterparts, but typically there is: 

A use of three lines of up to 17 syllables, traditionally in "5–7–5" form.  
An allusion to nature or the seasons.  
The use of a ‘caesura’ or ‘kire’ represented by punctuation, space, a line-break, or a grammatical break to compare two images implicitly.

Haiku’s generally try to reveal enough information around a subject matter without distinctly describing it or revealing its true ‘self’. Matsuo Bashō, a famous Japanese poet, described the Haiku as, "The haiku that reveals seventy to eighty percent of its subject is good. Those that reveal fifty to sixty percent, we never tire of."

This Golden Bay

Blow swiftly, wind,

From foggy shores beyond the waves.

Stand proudly, gate

Where beauty of the bay enclaves.

Sail slowly, ships

That pass the bastille withdrawing.

Sing softly, birds

When thanking summer's welcoming.

Sweep steeply, hills,

As lofty slopes buckle the rides.

Shine brightly, lights,

At night in vibrant city skies.

Cheer loudly, friends,

In places full of careless fun.

Watch peacefully,

Together, at the setting sun.

I left my life

On these shores, alien to me.

I left my soul

On piers above the turquoise sea.

I left my love

In random streets I had not walked.

I left my smile,

With people whom I had not talked.

I left my stress

Beyond that misty morning air.

I left my tears

With people that may never care.

I left all fears

In places that were far removed.

I left my hate

In battles that no longer moved.

I did not look

But found it all with little trials.

In city streets,

On wooden piers and prison isles.

A sense of one,

Belonging and affinity

With somewhere I

Had never expected to be.

I lost my cares

But did not seek them out, and then

I found my sense

Of wonder in the world again.

I lost my head,

But gladly now will let it stay,

To find my heart

Once more within this golden bay.

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin

Based on my adventures in San Francisco, July 2013