I’m writing on the go.
Won’t be my best, admittedly
But hey, what do you know?
There will be stanzas, metre too
(I’ll even make it rhyme!)
A classic poem, through and through,
Though made up line by line.
You could say though, what sillyness,
To write things on the fly,
It could cause problems, cause a mess
(Perhaps someone could die?!)
Unlikely though that words on sheets
Could physically arrest
More likely be some horsey meats
To block a flowing chest.
I seem to be digressing, quick,
Let’s get this back on track;
What topics shall I herein pick
To bring your interests back?
Perhaps the weather (no that’s dull)
Or maybe Songs of Praise?
(I hear that when the Christians lull,
They sing for fucking days!)
No that’s not fair, let’s not be rude,
A poem should be fun,
Let talk about the latest news,
Or who’s at number one?
It’s probably that Bieber thing,
He’s popular, that's true,
Though when I try to think of him
He seems more 'number two'...
Or what about the credit crunch,
(I hear you groan en masse)
Apparently it was a bunch
Of wankers that caused that?
Oh BANKERS, is that the business
That caused all this bad luck?
I would have taken more notice
If I gave half a fuck…
And there again, a vulgar quip,
My mother would so frown.
I’d say to her, ‘Oh mother dear
Turn that frown upside down!’
‘You made this mouth, my brain is yours
Just smaller, less refined.’
‘And whilst you give your thoughts a pause,
Get mine another wine.’
Oh alcohol, what a good shout,
An easy one to use.
I’d make a funny comment about
How much I abuse.
Of course my doctors would not kid
And haul me into line,
But drain my veins of their fluid
And BAM - another wine!
But really now, I should not joke,
Booze is a deadly sin
(Especially twelve rum and cokes
Then palate-cleansing gin!)
We should all drink responsibly,
And never more than two
But do not fret as thankfully
The measure's up to you!
Though some advice, from me to you,
Don't get me wrong, I love a drink,
That's splashed across the rocks,
But chuck a bit of fruit in *wink*
And I can sink the lot!
We should all drink responsibly,
And never more than two
But do not fret as thankfully
The measure's up to you!
Though some advice, from me to you,
I’ll charge you not a dime -
If you make me a rum and coke,
Please add a fucking lime.Don't get me wrong, I love a drink,
That's splashed across the rocks,
But chuck a bit of fruit in *wink*
And I can sink the lot!
What else is there to muse away
That makes for pleasant chat?
We’re having such a lovely day
Let's try and not lose that!
Perhaps another random line,
That strikes you on the nose,
I will not warn you when it's time
But when it comes, you’ll know!
Oh lunacy, oh silly tricks
This poems’ gone awry
Let’s get it back to the basics
Before I make you cry.
I’ll rhyme a pretty flowers name
With some sugary snack.
I’ll talk of fluffy bunnies, blame
This naughtiness on crack.
Bit boring though, if I was to
Compare a summers day,
The poem may be very smooth
(But you’d think I was gay!)
So I will lock that secret chest
And tell you it’s not true,
I’m well up for a lesbo fest
(But chuck a man in too.)
(But chuck a man in too.)
See if this poem was all dressed
In flamboyance and flare,
No doubt you’d still be quite impressed
But bored beyond compare.
So just admit, vulgarity
Brings poetry alive
It may not make the BBC
But watch out Channel Five!
So why not stop and take a look
At other poems made,
A lot of pride in them I took
(And all of them unpaid!)
And if you have enjoyed this farce
Please share it as you choose,
And if you didn’t, kiss my arse,
Like you've a fucking clue!
But thank you for taking the time
To read my little prose
I hope you have enjoyed the highs
And pushed on through lows
For now I must depart this page
But leave you with a punt -
Recall that promised, shocking phrase?
Well here it is you *end*
Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin
Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin
LOVE IT! its soooo not you :-)
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