A Fool's Lament

I seek you out -
Where do you hide?
You drew me out from my dying place
Like poison from a bite,
Just the sight of you, thought of you
Will make this worthwhile.
My vile existence is void
If my persistence in finding you
Pays off.
My loss, but an ash pile in the wreckage of history,
I wistfully, desperately beg of you please,
Show me you, just come through
And let not it be true
That you were merely a myth
All along?

These songs were for you
And I banished those who, now suddenly seem
So much more than before -
My god, I implore you, please
Do not let this be real,
That you were never there from the start?
I appeal, my heart will be broken; a miserable token
Of a life that I had all along.
I cast out the dawn
As I fall, but to mourn
On my knees under a blistering sun.
And through vomit and tears,
Beyond these artificial years,
Cry in agony -
What have I done?

Copyright © 2013 by Simon Austin