Swimming in a sea of sand,
Pushed by the soul, pulled by the hand.
The outside strong as insides rot,
A liquid mind that will not clot,
And spilling out onto the floor,
A fight, unbroken, I endure.
A desperate cry in an empty forum,
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
As dawn breaks through and sirens fly,
And open eyes begin to cry.
Dragged reluctantly from unwashed sheets,
Two faces in the mirror meet,
Exhausted, gaunt and full of sorrow,
They long for something else tomorrow,
Those sights too sad for those that saw them,
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
Heavy feet meet solid ground,
As snow falls endlessly around.
Cars drive past no souls to drive them,
Journeys, destinations, live men,
Driven to insanity.
An endless path stretched out before me.
Walking on, my spirit fallen,
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
Welter in well-known surroundings,
Tied in tight but no real groundings,
I stare out through the glass dividing,
From the outside, inside, hiding,
In a place where no-one can see,
Leave me here and let me be.
Curtains betray, and so I draw them
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
The emptiness consumes entire,
No drink can douse the raging fire
Nor can the food defeat the hunger,
An empty heart, no love to plunder.
Come not to save me, leave me here,
It’s not for you to interfere.
For those I loved I now abhor them.
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
But at the bottom, here I realise
Judgements passed through fear and thick lies
Let those in that did not love me
Watched them judge from high above me
How could I have been so grounded?
Listened to their hate, unfounded?
I now must stand with lost decorum
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
And as I rise, I watch you fall,
For love was never here at all.
Copyright © 2011 by Simon Austin
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