Poison

Tonight is just like any other night,

And nothing like any night before

I’ll sit here till the breaking of the light,

But never again see another dawn

The darkness blankets me but I am hot,

I shrug it off and cast it to the floor,

The arctic wind chills my blood to clot,

Near frozen, so I slam the open door.

The blood is boiling up behind my eyes,

But draining out from deep within my heart,

I slump down on the floor and grip my thighs,

And pray soon that this sadness will depart.

Enraptured in a fit of hate and fear,

I crawl into the corner in the dark,

The tides of hell are flooding in, so near,

And yet I will not board the saviour’s ark.

My breathing starts to shallow and arrest,

As pain is speared deep into my side,

I sense a crushing demon on my chest,

Then feel it writhe around on the inside.

I grasp my hair as tears roll down my face

And leaves the tracks of misery behind,

My fading soul drifts to another place,

A fragment of salvation for my mind.

The rolling hills are bathed in the light of the morning sun,

A cloudless sapphire sky enveloping everyone,

A weeping willow blossoms in the light of the warming rays

An emerald carpet spreads out as far as these eyes can gaze.

I feel the warmth caress me and fill my soul anew,

No longer do I suffer from the pain I have been through.

I lie down in this paradise and wrap myself in jade,

Finally I am in the sun and far from any shade.

There is no pain, no sadness, found here in this rapture,

No eyes bleed tears of sorrow, no heart suffers fracture,

Could this be the peace that I have searched forever for?

Finally an open window, not a padlocked door.

But suddenly that window slams, the door is bolted tight,

The emerald carpet turns to dust, the clouds blot out the light,

The weeping willow rots and dies and crumbles to the floor,

Euphoria is smothered out and pain returns once more.

A rush of lightning races through my veins,

Where once was warmth there now is only pain,

I try to scream but it is muffled out,

A mask of plastic smothering my mouth.

I try to see but blinded are my eyes,

An unseen force preventing me to rise.

My efforts, futile, lose ferocity,

I feel a faintness overcoming me,

And as before my body turns to stone,

I suddenly feel desperately alone...

The weakness this time heavy and forever,

Please let not this be my last endeavour

I want to see your faces one last time,

And ask you to forgive my wicked crime.

I did not mean to hurt you all like this,

It was a desperate cry, a final wish.

A prisoner like me had no escape,

For these bars were not so easy to break.

Incarcerated in my shattered head,

My mind had rot, my soul was all but dead.

And as I slip away from howling cries,

I see no weeping trees or sunny skies.

No fields of green but oceans, painted black,

I feel not warmth, but ice upon my back.

Exhale a breath for one last final time,

I wish forgiveness had somehow been mine,

But no more does my body let me live,

I have no more to life which I can give.

Embracing hand, oh why not here to lend

There is no guiding light here at the end...

Copyright © 2011 by Simon Austin