Epiphany

Amazing how the tables turn when least you do expect it,

I thought I’d seen the last of all the pain you had inflicted,

I took a beating, took a fall, absorbing all your bullets,

And yet, reload your gun of lies you did; then I was wounded.

Down on my knees I prayed that you would grant me coup de grâce,

But still you did persist; your torture clearly had no par.

I crumbled at your feet and begged forgiveness in your presence,

Of course I’d done no wrong but insignificant in essence,

For I must be reminded of my place when I am with you,

I had to prove my worth; by far the lesser of the two,

Available at any time, just shout and I’ll be there,

Click your fingers, I’ll be gone, it’s not for you to care.

But there was only so much snapping, shouting I could handle,

You pushed me to the brink; you broke my heart, burnt out my candle,

I cried so many tears and yet your thirst was insatiable,

Your constant retribution became unstoppable,

It seems your punishment was dealt out best when multiplied,

The surface tried to harden as inside, I slowly died.

And as I lay there on the floor in shattered glass and tears,

A sudden word of strength was whispered softly in my ears,

I clawed myself up to my feet and met your glassy gaze,

And stared at you to try and solve your twisted little maze.

But then it hit me like a freight train screaming down the track,

For too long I had shown you love instead of show my back.

Well here it is, take a good look; the last you’ll ever see,

From now on I will show you a better version of me,

No longer broken, battered, bruised and weeping on the floor,

Not begging you to turn around as you head for the door,

Now I’m the one who turns to go, to leave you here to rot,

A heart as black and cold as yours will quickly set to clot.

But as a final fairwell there is one more thing to do,

Accept this middle finger and a well deserved ‘fuck you’.

Copyright © 2011 by Simon Austin

Realise Nothing Will Make Sense Before God

Whispers on the wind tell lies,

‘It is Truth’ they will say.  And you will believe them

As temples justify the malevolence, the whispers mature,

You think you understand at first, before you

Realise

But what is truth?  ‘The belief of Faith’ they will say

Fractured and scattered by the chaos of wars

Across the eons of time.  Blind and arrogant,

Spilling blood in the name of blood for the belief of

Nothing

Illuminated by the parting clouds, the bearers of truth

March forth unto the saturated lands

Of other truths. ‘You have Courage’ they will say

As the truth rains down, many more the enemies He

Will make

In dark shadows the ground is soft, disturbed;

Easy to fall through. They will say

‘Be in His light for Salvation’.  Belief, however

Will not substitute the thin sheath of ignorance for

Sense

However the lies in the undergrowth are thick.

And its roots run deep.  Fires will not scorch them

But fuel them.  ‘Bathe in His Love’ they will say, but

Eventually, you will burn in it.  This is the real truth

Before god.

Copyright © 2011 by Simon Austin

In Limbo

She’s lost here somewhere,

Lost in limbo,

In these dark woods

Where we dare not go.

But I must find her

And bring her home.

She doesn’t belong here

Amongst the ravenous crows.

The moonlight spears

Like shards of blue glass

Through the thick canopy,

Piercing the black grass.

The trees block me

But I have a promise to keep

And I’ll push on through;

Miles to go before I sleep.

The air is thin

And the wind is stale.

Ancient undergrowth darkens,

As its victims pale.

I am lost here

And tread spiteful ground,

But I will stay lost

Until she is found.

And what of the trees?

They bear a strange fruit,

As blood stained leaves

Drip blood to the root.

Awkward figures sway,

Their faces sunken,

As cadavers drain

To the roots that drink them.

The high hanging bodies

Gaunt and garrotted

Not long had they fallen

Their blood not yet clotted

Why have they done this,

What had caused such fear?

To pick such an ending

So sudden, so severe.

Monochrome midnight

Hides shadowy figures,

Their traps awaiting

Near concealed triggers.

I hear them shufflling

Deep in the dark,

Their cruel intent

Scars ancient bark.

A ghostly mist gathers

And sinks all around,

It thickens the air

And crystals the ground.

Distant whispers drift

In unnatural tongues,

They conspire in blindness

To futile these lungs.

The woods are deep,

And I go deeper still,

The darkness thickens;

The wind is shrill.

I squint in the blackness,

Trying to see,

If I follow someone

Or if something follows me.

But I have promises to keep

And miles yet to go,

Further lost in these woods,

Where we dare not go.

Long before I sleep,

Where strange fruit hangs low,

Falling deeper into darkness,

Lost in limbo.

Copyright © 2011 by Simon Austin

Inspired by:
'Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening' by Robert Frost
'Strange Fruit' by Abel Meerpol

 

Sniper

I felt nothing at first.

Just the loud crack of a distant whip, the echo

Bouncing through the crumbling streets and fetid alleyways,

Painted with the stench of unintentional sacrifices

And scorched by the Middle Eastern sun.

He can see me, this one, even now,

Staring down the lens like a wayward sailor scanning distant rocks for Sirens,

Tempting him to death.

He’s watching me crumble to the blistering ground,

My skull cracks at the impact.  I feel the warmth running from my ears

As I baptise the dust. He must be watching, even still,

Assessing the state of his kill;

Am I still moving? Am I still breathing?
A foreigner in his lands is ripe for picking, he’ll say,

As he recollects the bounty of his day.

And all around will praise him for the win,

I was trespassing, they’ll say.

And I got what I deserved.

I guess they’d be right, it might be my error

To be here in a world that is not mine.

Branded a ‘terror’ but I’m not here by choice,

My voice is not heard when the generals of war jab at maps

Perhaps a lapse in their pointing has landed me here,

Bastards.

They should be more precise,

Like the man that is watching me, still.

His finger no doubt on the trigger, no mistakes,

He’ll figure me out before long

And know I am down but not done

As I lay here and burn in the afternoon sun.

A flash of light from the rooftops gives him away

But I cannot move, he’s watching me, still

Trying to confirm his kill.

He’s a smart one, clever sod, not mindlessly gunning

At anything running through the streets to which now

He is god.

Funny though how it transpired,

So tired now, the heat no longer burns my skin,

It’s thin, like a warm dusk choked by thick cloud.

Not long left for me I think, I should shift

But he’s still there, and he won’t move on

Until my stench fills the air in this meridian sun.

He’s won, of course that much is clear

But the blood running thick from my ear

Is the same as his, is it not? 

It would clot if I’d been just a little more careful,

An inch to the left perhaps?

Maybe not...

Not that I’d know anyway.  It’s unseen.

At eighteen, you don’t really understand the madness of war

Do you?  It’s true, so my father says anyway.

‘You’ll soon learn’ he said ‘as the bullets fly overhead’.

A second whip crack soon stops me

Dead.

He was wrong though, my dad.

All I learned is that you don’t really feel anything,

At first.

Copyright © 2011 by Simon Austin

End

You left me standing here alone, in a world that’s turned to stone,

A brilliant marble of blue and green

A beauty that has gone unseen

Decaying to the bone.

How can I fight your so-called fight, when all around the fading light,

Leaves darkness spreading further,

And now I don’t know whether,

The plunder's worth the plight.

Why wash your hands of what you made, you sit here watching all life fade,

As oceans take the land,

And rocks crumble to sand,

Your final chess piece played.

These roaring fires turning ashen, it’s been too long, our time in ration,

And now the blackness swallows,

An earthly body hollows,

In necessary fashion.

Copyright © 2011 by Simon Austin

A Moment Ago...

My house, it was here a moment ago.

I swear it was here, over here

By the trees that are no longer there

Standing strong in the crystal spring air

And the unnatural breeze from the shore

I am sure that’s where it was before.

Have you seen it? I swear it was here,  

A moment ago....

My friends, they were here a moment ago,

They were here , not that far

As their laughs quelled the quiet

Like a innocuous riot,

Then, running fast up the tracks to the hills where we go

When we want to escape from the bustle below.

Have you seen them? I swear they were here,

A moment ago....

My mother, she was here a moment ago,

She was here, at the table

Drinking tea, talking folly about times long gone by,

Complaining to god of the thickening sky,

Demanding more tea and a sympathy ear,

I love you dear mother but why aren’t you here?

Will someone please help me?  I swear she was here,

A moment ago....

My son , he was here a moment ago,

Over there, he was playing with cars,

By the house of a friend,

Over there round the bend

Off the road that is no longer there... but he wouldn’t go far.

He’s a good boy you see, an angel, my star...

Have you seen him?  I swear he was here,

A moment ago....

My love, she was here a moment ago,

I swear she was here, standing here,

Next to me with the wind in her hair

But her eyes flashed a look of despair,

I remember her cries but why? I must know.

She is somewhere up high, surely not down below

Have you seen her?  I swear she was here,

A moment ago....

But the sea wasn’t here, a moment ago.

It was quiet and calm, with no cause for alarm

In the gentle spring rain with no sadness, no pain,

In our village that rests by the shore, I adore

And my home with the little white door.

But the sea did not care, as it rose in the air
Its torrent, it came all the same....

Unstoppable. 

Indiscriminate.  

Chaos.

Where are you my friends?

Where are you my mother?

Where are you my son?

Where are you my lover?

Why have you left me here on my own

Swamped by the shattered remains of our home?

Why can I not find you?

Where did you all go?

Were you not in my arms

A moment ago?

Now I stand here alone with my face to the floor,

And I long to be free of the thoughts I endure,

As I look up and scan the destruction and death,

I fall to my knees and beat at my chest,

I feel the despair welling up in my heart,

I wish nothing more than this pain to depart.

I look at the waters as they filter away,

And carry the souls of those lost on this day.

Though my body remains, my soul joins the flow

For my world was extinguished

...but a moment ago.

Copyright © 2011 by Simon Austin

My Mona Lisa Lover

I glance up over cobbled stones, appreciate your golden tones.

Your eyes are closed; a smile appears to make the Mona Lisa sneer.

The sun beams brightly on your face, the sea applauds as wind gives chase

And ruffles softly through your hair; your looks and charm a deadly snare

That has me caught, I can’t escape, no flying rug or magic cape

Can free me from these prison bars, so still I linger from afar.

For having you comes at a price and yet I long to roll the dice,

To take the chance and make you mine. Is it a punishable crime

To fall in love and be a lover with one that seems to love another?

I do not care; I will persist, in you I’ll find my happiness,

Abundant as the sun that shines upon your sculpted body lines.

So lie there blissfully unaware of what ahead lies in wait there,

An evil plot, I’ve worked the sums for it soon around the corner comes.

To sever bonds and form another… not long, my Mona Lisa lover.

Copyright © 2011 by Simon Austin